Over the last year, many of you noticed that Muriël and I started this “thing” online. Some of you find it very interesting, so you said and a few of you, who are not here anymore, didn’t aproved apparently.
That where people, who I concidered to be close friends, who decided that they didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I never figured out why. But the truth is, I really don’t care. Everybody makes their own decisions.
Change is a scary thing for a lot of people
Muriël and I want freedom, that’s all we want. But isn’t that something we all want? Freedom is something personal.
For me freedom is that I can live my life and at the time actually notice everything that happens around me.
All the small stuff, all the big stuff. That I go when and where I like.
To show my kids the world, the stuff they don’t learn at school.
You know, I practice Vipasanna meditation and what that teaches you is that things are the way they are and not the way you want them to be. And… Everything comes and goes.
This always gets me through everything.
When I was twelve ( I start at this age because I really can’t remember a lot before this age) I got in to an accident.
Even though my parents told me not to, I played with fireworks.
Not the one you can buy legaly in the store around new years Eve, but the one that really make a big bang!
Anyway, on november the 8th 1985 I was on my way to Judo class and I thought it would be a great idea to have a go with this selfmade bom. I found this shell in the dunes, I filled it with the gunpowder, taped it and put a “head” on it.
To make a long story sort, it expoded before I could throw it away.
It seamed forever.
Everything was dark and there was no sound, but I knew I was there.
Slowly my hearing came back in a long piep. After that, my sight came back.
What I saw then I’ll never forget.
Everything that was supposed to be on my thum, indexfinger and my middlefinger was hanging under it.
I rememeber that I screamed and ran home. I don’t know how I got there, but I banged on the window and screamed for help.
My mom came and opened the door.
We didn’t own a car, so my mom ran of to the neighbours and they took us to the hospital.
I still remember as if it was yesterday. The hospital was just 1 block away, a 2 minute drive and the only thing that I said was….If my hand has to go off, I don’t want to live anymore.
My whole life people always told me “you have such beautiful hands”, so I was very proud of them and now that dream was gone.
I’m a very lucky person.
That day there was a doctor that cared. It took him eight hours to reconstruced my hand.
I woke up the next day in the hospital with a huge bandage all the way up to my elbow. When they took it off for the first time I got sick just by looking at it.
It was an “it”. there was no skin visible, no feeling and it just looked horrific.
In the next 6 years I had to be opperated about 20 times.
The doctor that saved my hand, became like a father to me.
Sadly, he commited suicide after a year, because he was gay and married, had two kids, but lived in an environment where that was not excepted.
Those where challenging years, growing up in puberty. Not all my fingers came out as pretty as before, but there is nothing in this world that I couldn’t do.
And I always did my own thing.
I was raised in a way that you should finish your studies and then find a job. I finshed my studies, but I never got that job.
Thank god for that.
I started several businesses and everytime people around me would either laugh at me or even warn me for al these dangerous things that could happen. Or they would encourage me.
But I always fought the forces of evil! And did what I thought was best.
There were businesses that went really well and it also happend that everything went really wrong.
But in any case I grew, I learned and I never made the same mistake twice.
You should never be afraid of change.
If you don’t like where you are now, make a change.
I don’t mean that you have to throw everything overboard and live in the jungle of Africa. You can do it step by step.
You can make a change right now, by making a decision.
It all starts with a decision.
Figure out what it is that you really want and then… go after it.
As Tony Robbins said: ” Possible for them, possible for me, it’s just a question of how”.
And as long as you are determind and persistent you will succeed.
I know you will.
It became our vision:
To help others to make a change in their life.
To empower others to be free and be the best version of themselves.
This is what we will be doing and slowly we are surrounded by likeminded people.
I hope you’ll be one of them.
Thank you for reading my story, I don’t think I ever wrote this down before or told it like this to anyone 🙂 but I just wanted to share this. Because this is who I am.
I love to stay in touch with you
and if I can help you with something, please let me know.
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